These may look like pictures you saw on Friday, the ones of Ashley Greene naked except for body paint, but they’re not. They’re all new. I don’t know who first thought up having only a thin layer of paint separating me from a sexy model and her tits, but that that person should be honored with one of those 40-story statues like the one of Jesus in Rio. It’s one of the greatest ideas anyone has ever had, second only to my idea of models naked except for a layer of my semen.
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